Back up. Back up, back up. Turn around, turn around.
Oh, yeah.
There they are.
Show her tits!
Ha ha ha! Whoo!
Stop!
Oh, shit! Run, run, run! Go, go, go!
- It's cool, huh? - Hell, yeah.
Yeah!
All right, watch your head, dude.
It's all right.
I got it, I got it.
It's all right.
I'll just fuckin' find you a better camera.
That's not a better camera than this camera.
Man, I'm gonna draw two balls at once.
What tape are you filming on?
- Do what? - What tape are you filming on?
What the fuck are you talking about, dude?
Where'd you get the tape? What's on the label?
I don't know. It was in your room.
- But you don't know. - Lights, lights, lights!
Come on, come on, come on!
Ow!
- Stop! - Show her tits!
See? That is exactly why I picked her.
She has great fuckin' tits.
Oh, you just knew 'cause you're a boob psychic.
Yeah, well, we've done this so many times.
Dude, we get $50 every time we do one of these things.
I can get us more than 50 bucks, man.
I mean, that's not bad for this--
fifty dollars for each time we do this.
Dude, tell him about the deal that you got.
We hooked up with, like, a reality porn place.
Have you actually got paid?
Has he said he'd pay you, like, money?
Twenty-five, thirty times, yeah.
I can get us more money than that in one night.
How you gonna get more money than that?
You can drop this fuckin' pawnshop shit right now,
if you want.
We need to do skirts.
Like, this coming summer.
Hey, shut the fuck up, man.
And run by and do-- you know, like, up-skirt stuff.
Shut the fuck up, dudes! We can get more money than that!
What the hell, Gary? God damn!
...get more than that in one night!
Okay, go up left here and head towards Ryback road.
Okay, here's the deal:
We've gotta break into this house,
and all we have to do is steal this one vhs tape.
Dude, let's use that fuckin' tape.
Why don't you use that tape?
Naw, man, let's use the tape.
Yeah, we got a tape right here.
Dude ain't gotta check it!
Anyways, the job pays, so, like...
It could lead to more work.
Work?!
Anyway, he also said
he saw some of your stuff online, so you have a fan.
How's that work, man?
We don't put our names on any of this shit.
I don't know. I don't know.
I wouldn't worry about it.
Hey, you got crumbs in your beard.
Uh, yeah, sure. No problem.
What's that?
- What are you talking about? - Is that your camera?
- What camera? What are you talking about? - What the fuck?!
Hey, rock, hey, can you hold my camera for a second?
Be careful. Be careful, okay?
Dude, this nigger's house is a mansion.
He must be goddamn rich!
Hey. Hey. Who stays here?
Some old guy.
Like, some old guy's here right now?
Some old guy's here right now,
and he's fucking sleeping, so you've got to stay quiet.
Wait a minute. Wait, wait. What if he wakes up?
Well, I'll fucking take care of that, I guess.
Yeah, I'll take care of that.
Just shut your fucking mouth, man.
You're not gonna do anything about it.
Jesus.
Hey.
You two go upstairs, and we're gonna look around down here.
Fuckin' go up there.
Shhh!
Shut the fuck up, dude.
Where the fuck is this tape?
Everything's pretty much empty in here.
Fuck, what?!
What the fuck--?
What the fuck, dude?
Oh, shit!
- Fuck. - He's dead, man.
- What? - I figure he's dead.
No fuckin' way.
Oh, man, he smells.
Gary!
What the fuck? Why are they yelling?
Shut the fuck up.
You keep telling me to shut the fuck up, dude.
Look at all this. Look at all this.
He's dead.
Don't touch the dude.
What did you fuckin' do to him?
Hey, Gary, Gary. They took care of it.
Who took care? Fuck you! Who took care of him?
- Shut the fuck up! - There ain't no tape.
Gary, there ain't no tape. Just take this.
Let's check all these.
I told them to keep looking.
Did you look in the fucking machines?
Hey, let's go-- hey, Gary.
Yeah? Let's check out the basement.
Tryin' to find the fuckin' tape, dude.
Brad, Brad, Brad.
- What? - Stay with me, man.
Fuck, no. You stay in here.
Those tapes haven't been checked, dude.
Hey, fuck you, man!
I'm not fuckin'-- whoa, shit.
Aw, fuck! Stay in here and check out those tapes, man!
Fine! Jesus! Fuck!
Jesus.
Oh, fuck.
Hello?
Is there something...?
Put 'em on, put 'em on, put 'em on.
Come on. Okay, yeah.
Oh, perfect fit!
Gimme! Gimme one of these!
It's perfect! In-I-I-ice!
- What? - That shit is so quad.
You can't even fuckin' tell!
Oh, my God! Look at him, huh?
Hey, dude, check it out, check it out.
- You like these glasses, right? - Yeah.
These are not just any glasses, my friend.
They're dork glasses.
These are video glasses, bitch!
There's a camera in that shit,
there's a fuckin' Mike in that shit.
Dude, look at 'em! You can't see 'it!
It's awesome!
- Where can you get 'em? - Internet, like...
Am I just, like, a spy now?
Yeah, superspy, man-- super ass- and-titty spy.
Yeah, tonight, I'm tellin' you.
I get it.
I know what you want to do.
Yeah, you do!
Oh, come on, turn your fucking dick on.
Turn it on, man! Let's do this!
Come on!
- You're damn right! - I'm not filming a porno.
Let's do this! Shut up! We're doing this!
Come on, man!
How do I turn these off?
Controls are on the top.
Now, this is for fuckin' Clint,
for fuckin' bein' the fuckin' man tonight.
Come on, let's do this! Let's go, let's go!
Ohh, so wholesome!
Power up!
Check it out. Turn your brights on, yo.
That's what we're doin' to this girl, right there.
That girl that you see right there,
we're gonna fuckin' talk to her tonight,
we're fuckin' doin' this shit.
Ohh! Fuckin' thigh-high!
...no! If you're filming right now, make sure--
I don't want to run out the battery.
Roll on that ass. Roll on that fuckin' ass.
Like a cross between...
What? Speak up! I can't--!
We gotta fuckin' get out of there.
Okay, okay. Where we gonna go now?
Get your game face on. You got it!
I'm on! I'm on. It's on right now.
You're my boy. You got it. Let's do this.
So, you're-- when you're having your country breakfast,
how many fuckin' flapjacks are you gonna put down?
I can do, like, five.
- Oh, yeah? - Yeah!
- That's a good one! - At the same time.
Talking about flapjacks with a girl.
I could never do that.
How could you even film that?
You ready to shoot Irish shit? What?
Yeah, sure! Yeah! All the time.
Hey. Two.
Two of your finest Irish shit.
Hey, there's two more.
- How 'bout--? - Top-shelf Irish shit?
Four Irish shit.
Four of their finest Irish--
this isn't enough. What about your friends?
Yeah? Yeah! Bring 'em over!
Go introduce me.
Okay.
Stay! Okay.
Alex, do what she says, man.
Get your bread!
Get on it.
- What, man? - Dude.
What?!
I-I have no idea what you're saying.
Why are you all alone?
Thanks, man.
Hey, you want to go meet some people over there?
I like you.
Well, I like you too.
So, do you ever come here... Before?
I like you.
Oh, okay.
Jesus. Fuck.
What the fuck are you doing?
What's up, guys?
I'm leaving.
Sir--!
It's over.
I need you to leave, sir.
Whatever. Get going.
Okay, I'm going, I'm going.
I'm fuckin' going.
Tube tops are fuckin' stupid.
Aw, you bein' a bitch!
Aw, shit, all right, be cool, be cool.
Hey, lady, how you doin'? You all right?
So, you found a buddy? You comin' back with us?
What are you doing sitting on the fucking ground?
You look fuckin' stupid.
Dude! Cleared out quick!
All right, so you guys are good to go.
She's a fuckin' trip, huh?
Which one of you chuckleheads is driving?
Holy shit!
I'm coming down a little bit!
I need to take it up a fuckin' notch!
# Takin' it up a notch, takin' it up a notch #
She is on some fuckin' drugs, dude!
Look at her eyes.
You can't even look at her.
She's gon' suck yo' dick off!
No, what's that?
This is the notch, my dear.
The notch.
Oh, no!
- Take it up your snosh! - Oh, no, this--!
Don't do it!
Dude, she doesn't want to, all right?
Fine! She's a grown-ass fuckin' woman!
I don't think she ought to do it.
Grown-ass woman.
All you've got to do is cover up
this little guy here and take a sniff.
Ay-yi-ya-ya!
Ooh!
You don't gotta trick her, man!
What do you mean? I'm not--
I'm not tricking anyone, dude!
Yeah! You're not fuckin' trickin' anybody!
There's a bunch of grown-ass adults in here!
You know what? We are grown-ups.
We're two fucking grown-ass women,
adults who crawled out of a bar and got into your car.
Stop it. All right, all right.
We did it 'cause we fuckin' wanted to.
You're not in charge, you dick.
Hey! Watch with the-- the heavy-handedness!
Heavy-handedness!
Sassy!
I don't know nothin' 'bout birthin' no babies.
Come on, y'all, let's go.
What the fuck?
I got the key. I got the key.
Jesus Christ. You're doing it wrong, man.
Just go. Come on, come on, come on.
It's blinkin'. Do it. Go in.
Oh, what is that?
It's... Like you're on fire!
Whatever!
What's up, my negro?
Hey.
After you.
You've reached the-- the freshness threshold.
- Get beyond that... - You are such a dork!
I need-- I need to take a shower, dude.
What?
Hey... Are you okay?
Okay.
Ohh! Yeah, dude!
I guess they like each other.
I like you.
Dude, what's up, man?
I'm just fuckin' sittin' on the couch, dude!
Jesus!
I mean... Oh, my God.
What are you, like a fuckin' cat or something?
Oh, Christ.
Okay. We're cool, we're cool, we're cool.
This is cool.
This is weird.
Do you want to go?
Do you understand?
Yeah, let's go.
Fuckin' garter belt's gonna be tough.
They're even tougher when the girl's passed out, man.
You shouldn't... What?
She's done, dude, she's done.
Don't do it. Stop now.
Hey. Hey, hey, hey. Hey.
Yeah, totally out, man.
Yeah. Unresponsive right there.
- Leave it alone. - Wake up. Come on.
Dude, she's passed out.
Statutory, dude.
Whatever! Don't snap at me, asshole!
Hey, come on. Come on, wake up.
It's cool.
She's had a lot to drink.
# But now she's asleep #
Come on!
Dude, chill out.
Shut the fuck up!
Hey, whoa.
Whoa, hey, man, it's cool, man.
Hey, it's cool, man.
Fucking wack!
Hey, chill dude, it's cool!
Whatever.
Hey, is everything cool?
Yeah, everything's cool. Everything's fucking cool. Yeah, whatever.
- We're cool. - Jesus Christ.
Hey, we doin' this or what, huh?
Doing what? I don't-- hey, are you okay?
You okay? You doin' all right?
Fuck, man!
You're beautiful. I like your face.
Shit, man, shut the fuck up.
Clint, what are you doing?
Get over here. Get this shit.
Ohh! Oh, shit!
This is crazy!
Hey. Hey, come here.
Get this shit, dude.
Wait, hold on, Shane.
Hey, hold on, look at this.
Shane, come on, man.
Fuck! Dude!
No!
Hold on, guys.
Hold on.
Hold on, I-I've got to get outta here.
Wow.
You could have got her, man.
What? Shit! Sorry, Clint!
- That girl just fuckin' bit me. - Dude, what?
Oh, fuck! She really just fuckin' bit me!
- Jesus Christ! - Shane, she fuckin' bit him, man!
No means no, asshole!
- No, no, just stop. - She's not into him.
No, just stop, dude. Just stop, man.
Don't touch her.
What's your fuckin' problem?
I wasn't gonna-- rrraaaaahhhhh!
Get the fuck off of me! Shit!
What the fuck? What the fuck?
What the fuck is that?
What the fuck is that--?
Patrick, shut up!
Open the door!
What the fuck is going on?
What the fuck is that? What is going on?
What did you see out there?
Shane is dead! I don't know!
Shane's dead? Shane's dead? Shane's fucking dead?
I don't know! I don't know!
Fuck! Shit!
What the fuck? God damn it!
What did you see? What did you fuckin' see?
What did you fucking see?
- He's dead. - He's dead?
He's dead. He's dead.
He's-- what do we do?
Patrick, what do we do?
Patrick!
What do we do, man? What do we do?
Come on.
Patrick. Patrick.
Where are you going?
Patrick, what are you doing?
Oh, shit! What is it?
Patrick!
What do we do, man?
Hey, where you going?
Lisa! Lisa, wake up!
- Hey. - Oh, shit.
Patrick, wait! Wake up! Wake up!
Lisa, wake the fuck up! Come on!
Patrick, what are you doing?
Wake up!
Oh, shit!
Get off me!
Get off of me! Get off of me!
Ohh! Oh, God!
I like you.
No like?
I'm sorry.
Please! Please!
Help! Help! Help!
Please let me in!
Please! Please let me in!
Please!
Let me in!
Oh, God! Help me, please! Get me out of here! Please!
Dude... Couldn't find it.
Brad.
The fuck--?
What the fuck?
It's not filming. I mean... yeah...
Then what's this fucking red light?
I mean, it's a camera, but--
Well, looks like we've found all this guy's shit.
Yeah, there's a ton of shit in here.
All right, you go that way.
- I'm gonna go over here. - All right.
Found it!
You got it?
Yeah, yeah.
All right, let me get over there.
Which one is it?
I don't know, man.
He said we'd fucking know, but I don't,
so... uh... Get a bag, and let's just take
all this shit up to the car.
All right, let me-- let me find something.
We're just gon' take all of it?
Yeah, take all of it.
Fuck.
Okay, this crate.
This crate right here.
Oh, shit. Okay.
This bag is better.
Okay.
Shit!
Ah, shit! Gary!
- Gary! Gary! - What?
There's a fuckin' man down here!
Shut the-- dude, I'm fuckin' dead serious.
Do you want me to replay this?
No. Here. Take this fuckin' backpack.
Here's a fuckin' crate.
Let's just fuckin' go.
There's not a man down here.
Man... Mmmm... I just saw-- look.
Right. I'm telling you, he just crawled back there.
Hey, dude, there's nothing there.
You're tripping. That's what trippers do.
I don't blame you. But, like--
I mean, it's a good job at that,
but you didn't see an old fucker or whatever.
Let's just hurry up and get this shit and go.
Oh. Um... okay.
Hi.
This is... uh... We're going on a road trip.
Sam and I are going on a road trip,
and I'm gonna be recording our mementos, our memories.
Um... first memory is Sam already pulling over
to go to the bathroom.
But this is what we're going to be looking at
for a long time.
Nothingness.
Cars.
What we got there?
I don't see it.
Looks like there's bullet holes in the side.
Wonder if people go out there and shoot their guns at it.
It's just, like, a fff... Really messed-up car.
That's crazy.
Uh... Don't forget to drive really slow on curves.
Okay.
What are you doing? You don't want to get a sunburn?
No, I don't want to get a sunburn,
and I forgot to buy sunscreen.
Oh.
It must suck to be woken up all the time.
Babe, are you gonna wash your hands?
Ugh!
Promise me before we eat you're gonna wash your hands.
I'll wash my hands after I eat with my hands.
So this must be the main drag.
I can't imagine there being much--
singing barbecue. Singing pig.
So, Sam got this room.
It's kind of dirty, and there only two beds.
I guess he didn't reserve
with enough time so that we could get
a room with one bed, which is annoying.
But I guess it's okay,
'cause then at least he won't steal the sheets.
Um...
But I'm gonna investigate to see how dirty it is.
Uh...
Okay.
This is the germiest part.
Aah. Ew.
There's, like, stains all around.
You think I could pull off cowboy boots?
- Mnh-mnh. - No?
- No. - I don't think so either.
I wish I could.
It's sort of appealing to me, but...
How 'bout a big ol' wallet like that?
I like that. I would want that.
Big billfold.
Yeah, I think that'd be cool.
Cowboy hat? Could I wear a cowboy hat?
- Yeah. - Yeah?
- Definitely. - Think so?
- Yeah. - Should I go in and try one on?
Yeah.
Where are we?
We're in wild west town. Old town, wild west.
We're at the wild west junction.
All right?
Come on in.
Believe it or not,
this old miner here can see your future.
Got some money? I'll tell you all about it!
- You got some money? - I don't.
How much does it cost to tell your future?
I think it costs a dollar.
But remember the movie big?
Are you afraid of your future?
Hold on, let me see if I've got a dollar.
Hey there, feller. This here's pappy,
and it must be your lucky day
'cause I have some words of wisdom just for you.
Listen up, now, you hear?
A closed mouth gathers no foot!
Yep, yep. That's right.
It's a whole lot better to say just a little bit
than to say too much and wish you hadn't.
You know what I'm sayin'?
Now, don't you be a stranger.
I've got lots more to say to you.
Oh, here we go.
- Okay, ready? - Yeah.
"A new turn of events will soon come about.
- A happy reunion with..." - Hey, there, pardner!
- Yep, I'm talkin' to you! - "A happy reunion..."
Pappy here's got some wisdom for you!
"A happy reunion with a loved one
"will make life all that you ever wanted it
"or dreamed it to be.
"You have a very trusting nature
"and are easily taken in by so- called friends.
"Do not be so anxious to do favors unto others,
"as there is one who is just waiting
to take advantage of your good nature."
A new turn of events will soon come about.
Happy reunion with a loved one.
That's great. I'm gonna keep that forever.
- Stephanie? - Mm-hmm?
Don't put that on.
- Why not? - 'Cause I don't want you to.
I'm about to go to sleep.
Oh, Jesus! Oh, sorry.
That scared me.
Hold on, take your sweatshirt off.
Are you recording this?
- Yes. - I really don't want to.
Don't want to what?
Come on, just take-- hold on.
Take your sweatshirt off. I have a really good idea.
Just for one second, I promise.
It's a super good idea.
Okay.
Ohh...!
- Please don't do this. - What?
I just said I didn't want you to record something like this.
What are you asking about?
I'm saying that... Stop!
- Come on. - I don't want to film this.
Come on. Come on, make out with me for a second.
I will make out with you if you put the camera away.
- But I don't want to. - Why?
'Cause it's so good. You look so hot, babe.
Come on. Why are you turning away?
'Cause I don't--
Don't put that back on.
Seriously?
I said I would do it if you would just turn the camera off.
Well... That's boring, with your sweatshirt on.
Will you take your pants off?
No.
Come on! Gimme-- gimme something.
Give me one victory.
Ohh, you're so-- oh, God, you're so sexy!
Stop!
What are you doing? You can't even enjoy this!
You're holding a camera!
Shhh...!
- You're being too loud! - I'm not being too loud.
Yes, you are! You disturbed the neighbors!
No, you disturbed the neighbors.
Come on, go answer it.
Well, I'm not going to answer it.
- You go answer it. - I don't want to. I'm scared!
Are you--? Go answer it!
It's a girl.
Sam?
What?
Will you come out here and tell me what happened?
Huh?
Will you come out here and tell me what happened?
What happened just now?
Um... Well, somebody knocked on our door
and I answered it, and it was a girl--
well, I don't know.
She was like, young, but not-- not, like, a girl girl,
like, a college-age girl.
And...
She asked if we could give her a ride...
- Tomorrow. - Where?
I don't know. It didn't get that far.
It was, like, really creepy.
That's so weird.
I know. It is really weird.
My only guess is that she must be just going door to door
and asking everybody, but why wouldn't you,
like, wait for people to be getting into their cars tomorrow
to ask for a ride?
It's, like, really...
- Maybe it's an emergency. - It didn't seem like an emergency.
And also, she's, like, not--
she wasn't physically intimidating,
but I got instantly... Nervous.
There's something really scary about her,
even though I wasn't, like,
afraid she was gonna hurt me,
but she was just, like, weird.
She's gone.
What?
She's gone.
She's not there anymore.
That's good, right?
Yeah. Do you think we should still call the police, though?
...no.
Why not?
I don't know.
I wouldn't really know what to say...
- About it. - Oh.
And also, I just don't feel like it.
Haven't you noticed there's, like,
way more hitchhikers here than you've ever seen?
Yeah.
And also I think this is, like,
a part of the country that has drug problems--
- like, meth problems. - Mm-hmm.
So I feel like I would rather just let it...
- Go. - Okay.
And if she's still there in the morning,
then maybe we can think about...
Doing something about it, but right now...
I'm happy to let it drop.
That's fine.
Do you want to sleep over here with me?
Um, no. That's okay. I'm fine.
All right.
- Good night. - Good night.
I hope it doesn't rain.
Does it look like it's gonna rain?
Yeah, it looks like it's really gonna rain.
As far as you can see, we've covered--
tents, trucks, trailers, whatever you can think of,
for our fifth annual rain dance festival.
Mini casinos, fortune tellers,
helicopter rides, games, games...!
Did you take money out of my wallet?
No.
Yeah, you did.
No, I didn't.
Well, you must have because I had $100 in here...
- When would I do that? - And now I have zero dollars in here.
Well, I didn't, so maybe you didn't actually have that money.
What'd you buy?
I didn't buy anything!
I have my own money. I don't need to take your money.
Are you serious?
- Did you...? - What do you think I did?
Well, I don't know... I've been with you...
- ...because the money's not here! - ...this whole time!
I've been with you this whole time.
I have no idea what you could possibly be imagining right now.
Well, it wouldn't be the first time...
You decided to treat yourself.
How far can you go?
I could probably go farther, but I'm too scared.
Here, I'm gonna go a little further.
Okay.
Are you alive?
Did you fall?
It's just a lady...
Out there having a conversation on a cellphone,
but it's so quiet that I can hear her
even though she's about 50 yards away.
Oh, weird!
I don't think I can get back up.
- Do you need help? - Maybe.
Can't quite find anything to grab on...
Nice work.
- Thank you. - Thanks.
All right, so, babe, I'm thinking...
That we could drive home on 40
and spend the night in lake Havasu,
and sort of break the trip up so it's not so brutal...
Or...
My new idea is we could go a little bit out of the way
and spend the night in Vegas
and still break the trip up, for the most part,
but also have, like, one more day of... Fun.
I just really badly wanna play craps.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
I had so much fun playing craps last time,
and I haven't done it since.
It's, like, the really fun game.
Real group participation game.
Well, whatever you want to do.
You-- you get to pick.
All right. That is definitely what I want to do.
I'm feeling lucky.
Can I turn off the light?
Mm-hmm.
Did you erase it?
What the fuck was that?
What's so special about this tape, anyway?
I don't know.
Maybe it's a tape of a senator
fucking his daughter or something,
and we're gonna use it for blackmail.
I don't know, as long as they pay us,
but I'll tell you this, we're gonna make tapes--
- copies of the tapes. - More money.
Can you not put that so close to my face?
It's so annoying.
Wait a minute-- you go to this lake every year?
- Yep. - By yourself?
Um... yeah.
But this year, I have you guys, so it's gonna be fun.
What do you do, just, like,
walk around the woods and play with yourself?
If-- if that's what you do, can I play with Samantha?
Get it out--!
Guys, let's scare this guy.
- Where? - This guy over here.
Are you ready?
Wait, wait, wait, what is he doing?
Shit!
Oh, shit!
Ho ho ho!
You almost fuckin' killed that guy!
He was kind of cute, though.
- What? - He was.
You are-- you seriously want to fuck anything
that has two legs with a third tripod in between.
I would never fuck you and I would never fuck you.
- Oh. - Take it back. Take it back.
- I might fuck you one day. - Yeah, what kind of guys are you into?
I'd fuck me. Would you, Spider?
- Fuck you? - Yeah.
Eh, probably.
I don't understand. You go to this lake every year.
It's just, like a tradition-type thing, or what's the deal?
No, it's just fun, and not many people go up there,
so we'll have the place to ourselves.
Wait, I'll get the door.
It's good, right?
I want to see you get it.
Can I have a piece?
I just got a piece for you!
Because when you told me about this trip,
you said it was just gonna be us girls,
- but now we're... - Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
I need to document this, okay?
You told me, Wendy-- Wendy, my sweet--
that this was just gonna be you and me,
and now you've told her that it's gonna be
all girls trip.
I'm just glad I'm with some people and not alone.
I don't want to hear a word about you jerking off.
I don't jerk off that much, but...
- Not that much? - Come on!
Is this it?
I don't know. Is this it?
Oh, okay, yeah. This is--
Ooh, dead end! Let's take the left!
Really, Wendy?
...to go, so fucking go, man.
I can't catch that thing.
Just get it.
You have your bowie knife, right?
Oh! Get him, get him, get him, get him!
Do you got him?
- What is that? - It's a barracuda.
- A what? - A barracuda.
- That's a fish, you idiot! - It's a barracuda... Fly.
Oh, seriously?
I don't know.
You wanna see me eat it?
Yeah!
Oh, fuck.
You're not really gonna eat it, are you?
Oh, my God! Oh, my go--!
...I mean, I was here to fuckin' boink her.
Yeah?
What are you--? Wait. I have a question.
What are you doing here?
Huh?
See that, uh, blonde goddess up there?
- No, where? - That's what I'm here for.
I don't see much of a blonde goddess anywhere.
Or, uh... Blonde crack whore, according to you.
- Hey, give me the camera. - She is a crack whore.
You're not gettin' the camera, bro.
- Just gimme it for one second. - Why?
- 'Cause I wanna do something. - No. Go fuck yourself.
Wedgie?
- Joey... Joey... - Did she wedgie you?
No.
That's more like it, dick-wise, right above your head.
Look. Stop-stop!
It's coming right out of your head.
It's about the size of your dick,
and it's moving!
...We're walking around
the middle of the fucking woods.
Where the fuck are we going?
Can you get a shot of this?
Yeah, sure. Of what?
What, of the wall?
Yeah. Just humor me, okay?
It's tripping me out.
The last time I was here, my friend fell over it.
All right. Well... Hi, wall. "Hi, Joey."
- Good? - You're so-- soon as you get back up.
Why are you carrying around grass?
Okay! God! Jeez--!
You mother fucker!
I didn't do it! Wendy did it!
Well, I-- you shoulda ninjaed that shit!
- Oh, fuck me! - Did I break it? Is it okay?